Car Spotlight- Buick Somerset (1985-1987)

A 1985 Buick Somerset, in all it's 80s glory.
photo credit- wikiwand

The Buick Skylark, a nameplate that has been a staple at Buick since 1953.  The Skylark was a common choice for the white collar working man and his family.  Like any other Buick, it also appealed to the average granny than needed it to get to and from church and the laxative store.  The Skylark sold well for Buick for several years.

...then came the 1980s...

In 1980, Buick applied the Skylark nameplate to an upscale version of Chevy's infamous Citation (more on that here).  To make a long story short, the Citation based Skylark left a bitter taste on many loyal Buick customer's tongue.  So when it came time to redesign the Skylark for 1985, someone at Buick felt it was time to phase out the Skylark nameplate with the outgoing model in a typical GM move to seem "fresh."

The name of the Skylark's replacement was called the Somerset Regal...okay, for those of you who aren't Buick historians, there is nothing "fresh" about that name, as Buick had another car called the Regal.  In fact just a few years prior to the Somerset Regal's debut, there was a trim package for the Regal called the "Somerset"...

Anyway, the Somerset Regal debuted for the 1985 model year and came in a two-door configuration only as well as a choice of two engines. The Somerset Regal shared it's platform with Oldsmobile's Calais and Pontiac's Grand Am (collectively called the GM N-cars)

The only thing that made the Somerset Regal stand out from it's Pontiac and Oldsmobile in-laws was the placement of the radio, which was mounted in a separate pod that sat on top of the AC/heater controls.  It looked as if Buick forgot all about it when they were designing the dashboard, and some engineer was all like "Aw crap! we forgot the radio! Uhh... lets throw it in right here!"

This is a factory-installed radio in a 1986 Buick Somerset.
Have fun trying to figure out how to swap in an aftermarket one!
Source-curbside classics.com

After the Somerset Regal's first year on the market, GM added four-door models to it's N-car lineup.  This may seem like a good idea, as the 1985 sales figures for the Somerset Regal were less than what GM was expecting.  So one would think that a 4-door Somerset Regal would help give the nameplate some more recognition...right?  Here's the thing...when the 4-door debuted in 1986, Buick didn't call it the Somerset Regal....they called it the Skylark!  That's right, Buick not only gave a 4-door version of a car that already exists a completely different name, but they named it after a car that Buick phased out two years before.  In a half-assed attempt to prevent confusion among buyers, Buick changed the name of the two door model from the Somerset Regal....to just simply "Somerset."

From here, Buick's game plan for marketing the Skylark and Somerset was that the Skylark would be marketed toward old people who tend to carpool to bingo night.  The Somerset was marketed as a more upscale "personal coupe," being marketed toward wealthy old people wanting to drive to the pharmacy to pick up their laxatives in style.  

Here's why this didn't work (for the Somerset, at least).

1. The 2.5L 4-banger engine (aka the "Iron Duke") was considered too underpowered and noisy for an "upscale car." A 3.0L V6 could be had as an option, but nobody bothered to look into that.
2. The digital instrument cluster that was stuffed into the Somerset was notorious for draining alternators (probably another thing Buick forgot about when developing the car.)
3. Rich old people typically don't spend their money on small GM cars, regardless of how "fancy" it may be. 
4. The Skylark was cheaper, since it didn't have all that luxury crap that made the Somerset more expensive.
5. It's a GM car from the 1980s...so don't anticipate any high expectations from the fit and finish department.

There may have been more reasons, but the point is that Buick dropped the Somerset name after the 1987 model year and renamed the car the "Skylark coupe"...which is what GM should have done in the first place.  

A 1988 Buick Skylark coupe...see the difference compared
to the Somerset?  I don't either
source: Orlandod87 on CarDomain

To basically sum it up, Buick may have wanted to replace the Skylark, but were hesitant to do so.  So they brought out the Somerset in two door form only as a way to "test the waters" if buyers would warm up to the new nameplate...which they didn't, so Buick phased-in the Skylark nameplate and brushed "Somerset" under the rug only three years after being introduced.  I'm sure the car would have done just fine if GM would've just kept the Skylark name to begin with, and I think GM probably knew that, too.  

...Oh, one last thing.  I found this Buick Somerset commercial on YouTube...I can name several cars that I would rather have than a Somerset. 

A Brief history of the 1996-1999 Ford Taurus...was the design really ahead of it's time?

"Taurus.  It's the North American Car with the looks and the feel you've never seen before...It's a personal car that's exactly what we've been looking for!" (link)

That was the jingle Ford used to describe it's revolutionary Taurus mid-sized sedan and wagon when it was introduced in 1986.  And revolutionary it was, as it's design was unlike all the other cars being sold at the time.  It was all a very risky design for Ford as the total cost for the car's development was well over $1 billion.   Had the Taurus been a failure, Ford would have REALLY been in deep trouble.  Luckily it wasn't as in it's first year of production, Ford sold 200,000 Tauruses...yep it was definitely a game changer!  Eventually, it became the best-selling passenger car in America.  The Taurus continued it's winning ways throughout the early 1990s.  A re-design of the Taurus in 1992 further solidified the car's dominance on the American car market.

In an attempt to repeat the original Taurus's success by being like no other car out there, Ford once again thought outside of the bun (sorry, I'm eating Taco Bell as I'm writing this) when designing an all-new Taurus.  The new car was much more rounder than it's predecessor, and by that, I mean it was WAY MUCH MORE ROUNDER than the previous Taurus. Take a look at the two cars below.  Both are Ford Taurus's and they're only one model year apart.  Not a single line was shared between the two cars.

1995 Ford Taurus
image credit-GTcarLot.com

1996 Ford Taurus
image credit-jordanmotors.com

Can you count the number of circles on the dashboard?

Now this one is for you Chevy and Dodge fanboys.  Have any of you ever heard of the Ford joke regarding the emblem and the phrase "well...at least they circled the problem" Well, the 1996 Taurus was literally FULL of circles.  Everything about the car was round.  The windows were round, the lights were round, the shifter was round, the trim pieces were round. EVERYTHING WAS ROUND!  One would think that the inspiration for the design was the Ford emblem itself.  I'm willing to bet that there isn't a single right angle on the car.

The 3rd generation Taurus debuted in late 1995 as a 1996 model to generally positive reviews from the press.  The public however, was more lukewarm to the new Taurus, as after only one year on the market, the Taurus lost it's best-selling car status to the Toyota Camry.  Some would later dub this itineration of the Taurus "the goldfish car" or "the submarine." It wasn't long before the majority of Taurus sales went to fleets and rental companies.  I bet if you were standing in line at the local Enterprise or Hertz desk in the late 90s and early 2000s, you would most likely hear other mutter "Please don't give me a Taurus, Please don't give me a Taurus..."

Ford realized their mistake and quickly restyled the Taurus in 2000 to make it more "conservative."  But nevertheless, the damage was done.  The Taurus was no longer a "competitive car."  Several car people even go so far to say that the 3rd gen Taurus was what led to the downfall (and immediate revival) of the Taurus nameplate.

Now most car people dismiss the 1996-'99 Taurus as a "game changer" done wrong.  The way I see it is that Ford wanted to be revolutionary just like the original Taurus was, but the end result just simply didn't sit well with the public.  What people don't realize is that the Taurus really was ahead of the times...at least from a design standpoint.

So let's fast forward to today and look at some mainstream family cars. (Although by today's standards, they're quite normal), and compare them to the design of the 1996-'99 Taurus. (all photos courtesy of Wikipedia under public domain)

#1-Hyundai Sonata

#2-Kia Optima

#3 Ford Fusion

#4-Toyota Prius

Now, many of you would argue that the cars I listed would be "10 times better than the fishbowl Taurus in for x amount of reasons..." And I would probably agree with you.  However consider this,  say the Taurus debuted 15 years later than it did, and had all the modern amenities that a typical 2011 car would have, yet still retained it's ovid shape.  Do you think it would fit right in with the competition better than it would have in 1996? 

Car Spotlight-Dodge Dynasty (1988-1993)

The entire car industry (specifically the design departments) was flipped upside down when they got their first look at the 1986 Ford Taurus.  While the average 1980s car looked like a moving box with edges so sharp they can give you cuts, the Taurus was very aerodynamic and futuristic, with rounded edges, a comfortable interior, and even a digital dashboard to further give owners the impression they were driving "the car of the future."

Meanwhile, across town over at Chrysler, top executives and engineers were scoffing at the Taurus, claiming the car was "too radical" for the public to chew and swallow.  They assumed that consumers would continue to prefer traditional boxy cars that has been a standard for American cars since the late 70s.

To "compete" with the new Taurus, Chrysler took their "fail safe" K-platform, enlarged it to appear mid-sized, and slapped all these boxy panels on it. (perhaps as a middle finger to Ford)  The end result was the Dynasty sedan.


So what was the verdict?

Why don't you take a look at these two pictures...one is the Dynasty and the other is the Ford Taurus.  Both are the same model year and priced about the same.  






...Yeah, it seems that at arrival, the Dynasty already looked like a twenty year old car.  Despite it's inferiority design wise, the Dynasty still found it's group of buyers.  These people include:

• families who haven't exactly warmed up to the Taurus's aerodynamic design
• people who refuse to buy anything that isn't a Chrysler product
• OLD PEOPLE!

Now with that being said, the Dynasty wasn't really that bad of a car (although it does like to eat automatic transmissions for breakfast).  One thing I hear that owners like about the Dynasty is it's smooth ride, thanks to it's innovative front struts that reduced ride harshness, as well as seats that felt like the couch in your grandma's living room.  To be honest, I would consider the Dynasty as one of the last "land yachts" to be sold to the public.  

In the long run, Chrysler was dead wrong about aeronautical cars being a fad, as the Dynasty (as well as most of Chrysler's boxy cars) was phased out in 1993 and replaced by the super sleek Intrepid.  

Link to a bunch of old people explaining why they like their Dynasty 

Link to an incredibly hot chick selling Dodge Dynasty hubcaps

Link to a bunch of teenagers making a Dynasty fly!

Car Spotlight- Kia Borrego (2009)

I have seen three Borrego's in my lifetime and all of them were
in this copper-orange color.
(photo credit-car and driver)

Okay so picture this, it's 2009.  The housing market was collapsing, banks were failing, businesses were closing, the war in the Middle East was dragging on, and gas prices were sharply increasing despite starting the year at under $2.00 a gallon.

At this time, the auto industry was facing record-low sales as consumers were wary of making such a huge investment in a car that may or may not even be made anymore.  Those who did get a car (most likely on risky credit) were buying gas-sipping compacts, under-powered minivans or those DARN HYBRID cars.

So how did Kia Motors of South Korea respond to this new desire for a fuel-efficient family hauler? With a body-on-frame full size SUV that gets around 16 miles to the gallon...

When the truck first came out, I didn't understand why Kia chose to sell this car.  They already had similar sized crossover SUV called the Sorento that had more or less the same features and capacities...but at a smaller sticker price.  I was not alone, as I remember reading an article by Motor Trend where the staff was given one as a long term test vehicle, and they came to a similar conclusion.

Despite being the wrong vehicle at the wrong time, the Borrego wasn't bad for what it was.  It seats up to seven people, can tow up to 7000 lbs, and the maneuverability was pretty good for it's size.  It would have made a decent vehicle for road trips up to the cabin, towing the pontoon boat, or (realistically) ideal for rich housewives who like to take up more than one parking space at the Sam's Club.

But again...it was a vehicle that was fifteen years behind the times.  It was a truck that no one really asked for, especially in this economy.  The Borrego was pulled from the U.S Kia lineup after barely a year on the market.  Production of the Borrego continued however, as the truck is still being sold in middle-eastern nations where gas and oil are about as common as urine.    

  

Car spotlight- Ford Festiva (1988-1993)

The Festiva was so basic, that having a passenger-side mirror
was considered an option...

The car I'm talking about today should not be confused with the 1978-1980 and 2011-present Ford Fiesta.  No, this is the Ford Festiva (fes-teev-ah), a completely different small car.  Imagine the word "festive" and replace the "e" with an "a" (just like when Oldsmobile replaced the  last "e" in Achieve with an "a" to get this depressing car).

In the mid 80s, Ford was on top of the world.  Their Escort "world car" was selling plentifully around the world, the game-changing Taurus mid-sized sedan was turning heads everywhere, and Ford was well into development of another vehicle that will turn the car industry upside down (the Explorer)  Yes, it was a great time to be a Ford dealer.  Around this time, the was a dramatic increase in college graduates looking to buy their first car or their first "new" car.  Looking to capitalize on this new demographic, Ford went ahead and offered a simple and affordable car called the Festiva.

Because Ford was pretty exhausted with developing the Escort and Taurus, as well as having their hands full with the Explorer, Ford pulled a GM move by dumping the responsibility of developing and assembling this new car to their Japanese partners, Mazda and Kia.

Gotta love that optional air conditioner!
And Get a load of that automatic seat
belt!
(photo credit-moibibiki.com)

The origins of the Festiva itself is actually quite confusing.  The car was originally developed by Mazda as the 121 sub-compact and was marketed mainly toward those who lived in city settings (specifically Tokyo) where cars are taxed based on size and dimensions.  Mazda would then enter a contract with Kia Motors of South Korea to assemble the 121 and sell it as the Kia Pride.  When Ford came along and asked to sell the car in the United States, it would be the Korean derivative that would wear the Ford emblem.  So whenever someone in America pops open the hood or look closely at the V.I.N plate, it will say "Manufactured in South Korea by Kia Motors."

The Festiva went on sale in the U.S in 1988 and sold fairly well.  Like Ford had hoped, the Festiva sold well among college graduates and new drivers.  The Festiva was also quite popular with individuals who had long commutes, as the car got very good gas mileage (35 city/42 highway).  The only drawbacks to the cars were it's laughably small wheels that wore out frequently and it's very poor crash test ratings (but don't worry, Ford put motorized seat-belts in the Festiva so that nobody forgot to buckle up!)

The Festiva sold well enough for Ford to keep the Festiva through the 1993 model year.  At this point, the vehicle underwent a major re-design.  Because the new Festiva looked completely different from it's predecessor, Ford decided at the last second to change the name to "Aspire."  To sum up that car as briefly as I can, many people agree that it was probably the worst possible name to give that particular car...

Even after it was re-designed, several markets continued to sell the original version of the Festiva, specifically in emerging markets.  Kia sold the Pride virtually unchanged until 2000.  China sold their own version of the Festiva as the "Donfeng Yueda" in the 1990s and early 2000s.  Iranian car-maker S.A.I.P.A STILL assembles and sells several different variants of the Festiva to this day, including a 5-door hatchback, 4-door sedan, station wagon, and even a pickup (why anyone would buy a Festiva to haul things is beyond me.  I bet the towing capacity of one is pretty laughable).

An Iran-built SAIPA pickup truck at the Factory. Even the people
that built it looks as if they don't understand the point of making
a pickup truck based off a Festiva...
(photo credit-Technically Jurisprudence.blogspot.com)

And if you thought a pick-up Festiva rose eyebrows, there was an unofficial "Festiva SHO" or "SHOgun."  California-based Special Editions Inc, a coach builder took seven Festivas and mounted the 3.0L DOHC V6 typically found in the Ford Taurus SHO in the Festiva.  Along with the engine swap, Special Editions also widened the wheel displacement (to prevent rollovers) and added a unique body kit to differentiate the SHOgun from regular Festivas.  Jay Leno owns SHOgun #3 and you can see a video about that one here.  I read an article on Leno's official website (for which I couldn't get the link on here for some reason) that this was the car he drove to his first day of hosting the Tonight Show back in 1992.    

Jay Leno with his 1990 Festiva "SHOgun." He even went
ahead and added NOS to the engine...well then!
(photo credit-flatout.com.br)

Car spotlight- Jeep Comanche (1986-1992)

1988 Comanche with the "Eliminator" trim
photo credit-Hemmings Motor News

There has always been a pattern when it comes to introducing small trucks and S.U.V's.  An automaker usually introduces a pickup truck one year, and an S.U.V variant would then follow the next year.  This was not the case for Jeep.

In 1984, American Motors introduced the Cherokee compact SUV, which was innovative for being offered in a 4-door configuration rather than just having two doors like GM and Ford were doing.  Realizing how big the compact pickup truck market was becoming, AMC chose to offer a pickup version of its Cherokee.  

Called the Comanche, the truck was introduced in 1986 at a critical time.  American Motors was in the midst of sinking into bankruptcy, and the only thing keeping it afloat was it's Jeep division.  So in a way, the Comanche was a good way to add in some extra cash.

One thing that car historians tended to overlook was how powerful these trucks can be.  While the Ford Ranger and Chevy S-10 pickups were struggling to crank 150 horsepower from their catalytic-converter strangling engines, Jeep introduced a new 4.0 liter Inline 6 engine equipped with fuel injection (which at the time was a new way to transfer fuel).  This made the truck not only more powerful, but also more fuel efficient (but then again it's still a truck, so the milage still sucked).

One thing I find unique about this truck was the way Jeep labeled their trim levels.  On a typical car, and we'll use the Toyota Corolla as an example.  To differentiate each of their models, Toyota used two and three letter combos such as "CE," "S" or "XR." (have no idea if any of these words stand for anything).  Jeep used more conventional, if not, more exciting words to describe it's various Comanche models, such as Pioneer, Chief, Laredo, Olympic (for the 1988 Seoul games) and my favorite one, "Base"

Even though the Comanche may very well have been the most modern truck at the time to wear the Jeep badge, the timing couldn't have been worse, as after just one year on the market, American Motors went under and all their assets were bought up by the Chrysler Corporation.  At this time, Chrysler's Dodge division introduced it's own mid-sized pickup, the Dakota.  So basically, what was meant to be the Comanche's main competitor was now it's step sibling.

Couldn't find a good image of the Comanche's interior.  So I
found this image of the Cherokee SUV (which is more or less
the same thing)

The Comanche and the Dakota ended up being sold side by side at the same dealership.  Even though the Comanche had several advantages over the Dakota, the Comanche never really took off and pretty much sat in the shadows of the Dakota.  This was due mostly in part to the Dakota's lower sticker price and Chrysler's efforts to make Dodge it's "truck" brand and Jeep, it's "SUV" brand.  The Comanche has grown to be so much of a nuisance that dealers were begging Chrysler to pull it from the lineup.

After limping along for several years, the Comanche's death clock ran out in 1992 after only a few thousand trucks were sold the previous year, becoming the last pickup truck to wear the Jeep badge of honor (insert patriotic music here...)
 

 

Car Spotlight- Oldsmobile Achieva (1992-1998)

A boring car in a boring color.

Oldsmobile was always remembered as being "your fathers car" or "your buddy Mike's first car after granny got thrown into the old folk's home."  And by the 1990s...it was still that way.  Just the name "Oldsmobile" can be a dead giveaway to being a boring car meant for old people.

The Achieva was no different from the rest of the Oldsmobile family at the time.  One thing that confuses me the most was where Olds got the name.  It sounds like someone sneezed as they were pitching the name to some top GM executives, and the name stuck...

Like most GM sedans at the time, the Achieva was just another half-hearted attempt to fill a void in a market segment.  Sure, one could get an Achieva with two doors and a stick-shift, but what kind of old person would buy that?  Even the commercials for it were uninspiring... I mean...who would think  that spending most of a commercial showing a bar graph and not the car itself would convince people to buy this car?

The answer to that was well...old people.  Old people who have been driving Oldsmobiles for decades. The Achieva was the car that they bought after retirement, and all the kids have moved out.   At this point, the only places these people would need to go to are the grocery store and church.  Even today, I still see Achieva's on Craigslist with under 100,000 miles.

After almost 90 years of building cars for Grandpa,  Oldsmobile finally realized that they aren't going anywhere if they continue selling such uninspiring cars like the Achieva.  So after selling most of their inventory of 1998 Achieva's to rental fleets, Oldsmobile discontinued the car along with some of it's other well-known but tired nameplates such as the Eighty-Eight, Ninety-Eight, and Cutlass.

Oldsmobile would then focus on making cars that were designed by European engineers...because THAT is what convinces people top buy cars...right?  Well, apparently not, because GM would kill the Oldsmobile brand in 2004 due to low sales and the fact that GM already had several other marques that could easily fill in the void that Olds left behind.